Thanksgiving 2010
Its Hard To Be Thankful When You Feel Entitled
This week its our Thanksgiving Holiday.
Hopefully you will gather with family and friends and enjoy a feast.
More importantly enjoy and celebrate the relationships that you share.
We have a kind of tradition around our Thanksgiving table.
Before we have our family prayer time, we all go around the table and tell
everyone what we are thankful for.
Even though I know its coming, it still feels lame.
I’ve had to ask myself—why is my giving thanks seem so lame,
Why isn’t my heart overflowing with thanks for how good I really have it.
Today I thought I would explore that with you.
Why giving thanks is difficult for a lot of people.
I’ve entitled this little exploration
Its Hard To BE Thankful When You Feel Entitled
What I hope to accomplish is to point out to you that our feelings of entitlement get
in the way of our feelings of thanksgiving and suggest to you a way to
reframe your life so that thanksgiving can really happen.
First let’s define entitlement.
An entitlement is the right to guaranteed benefit.
A benefit is something that is advantageous to you.
Something good, some kind of advantage,
Some kind of betterment or prosperity.
That it’s a right means it’s a “just claim.”
And that this benefit is guaranteed means it is yours to have.
For instance the Constitution of the United States of America grants certain rights
to its citizens,
certain guaranteed benefits for being an American.
The first ten additions to the original Constitution is known as
the bill of rights.
As an American
The government can’t force you to go to a state sponsored church.
The government can’t prevent you from speaking your mind,
Or printing your thoughts for distribution or keep you from
gathering with like minded folks to discuss your
grievances with the Government.
As a private citizen you have the right to own a fire-arm.
The Constitution supports an armed citizenry.
The government can’t take your property from you and use it for its own
purposes.
Neither can the government on a whim search your private property and
seize what belongs to you.
As an American you have guaranteed rights in a court of law if you are
accused of some crime.
You can’t be tried for the same crime twice,
You can’t be compelled to testify against yourself.
You can’t be tried behind closed doors by some
secret tribunal.
You have the right to face your accuser,
The right to a speedy trial,
The right to be judged by a jury of your peers
The court is not allowed to fine you or set bail at an amount that you
are not able to pay thereby keeping you in custody.
While in custody you will not be subject to cruel or
unusual punishment.
There are other guaranteed benefits like the right to freely vote regardless of your
race or gender, when you reach the age of 18—
As an American citizen you are entitled to these benefits.
But when we develop a sense of entitlement about all of life
we think we are guaranteed much more.
Just a little social commentary—
When I think that because you have more than I do,
That you should give me some of what you have simply because
things aren’t equal—that’s a sense of entitlement.
A sense of entitlement convinces us that the world owes us and that we should be
able to collect right now.
There are certain key phrases that indicate our sense of entitlement:
Everybody else is….
They all have….
It’s not fair…
You owe me…
I shouldn’t have to work for …
Entitlement is the notion that you are deserving of some particular reward or
benefit simply because you are you and on that merit, deserve it.
Since you always want more, and you want the latest,
The coolest, the best, you’re never satisfied.
To top that, what you do have,
you take for granted.
If you take what you have for granted and expect even more to be handed to you,
You are never satisfied, never content and therefore never truly thankful.
When you think you should have it better than you do,
that’s a sense of entitlement that makes real thanksgiving an
impossibility.
To develop a sense of thanksgiving you need to reframe how you see life.
One of the great reframes is coming to the realization that no one owes you
anything.
The Apostle Paul is writing to believers in Thessalonica and tells them that they
need to work to get what they need and what the want.
2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 (MSG)
Don't you remember the rule we had when
we lived with you? "If you don't work, you don't eat." And now we're getting
reports that a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings are taking advantage of you. This
must not be tolerated. We command them to get to work immediately—no excuses, no
arguments—and earn their own keep.
Some people can get real content living of the generosity of others.
Why work when I can mooch;
Why be a host when I can be a parasite;
Why produce when its easier to consume?
Why work when I can make as much money on welfare?
There are times when people need a hand-up,
but seldom a handout.
Before I give I always ask the question will this help them out,
Or help them to continue needing help.
The other day a couple came to use the Food Bank that you provide for folks
who are needing to make ends meet.
They carted away about four bags of food.
When asked to stay for the church service,
The invitation was declined because they had a spa
appointment.
See the disconnect.
Those folks felt they were entitled,
To take your food so that they could spend their money on
Luxury items.
The sin nature, left to its own, demands that others take care of you;
its not your fault that luck hasn’t smiled on you,
You’re not responsible for your circumstances,
You’re just being oppressed by the rich.
Paul says, no—
Earn your own keep, no one owes you anything.
Another important reframe is not taking things for granted.
If you have ever dealt with kids you’ve heard,
Ah, do I have to go to school?
I don’t know about you but I took going to school for granted.
I had no idea what a privilege it was to be given the opportunity to gain and
education.
I had no idea that others were paying so that I could get that
education with out financial cost to me.
I went to public school, in Michigan the schools are funded by property
taxes.
That means the homes and property of the people living in the school
district, whether they had students are not,
are accessed an amount of money that they are forced to
pay so that I could go to school.
No free lunches, I took it for granted,
Worse I didn’t realize what a gift it was.
I see it now too when I get to substitute,
Kids don’t want to be in school.
Well, were would you rather be?
Playing video games, hanging out with my friends—
Only in America.
Not only do a vast majority of children in the world not have access an
education,
They are working to survive.
Even in developed countries, an education,
A continuing education is a privilege and not a right.
As a kid I took having a roof over my head for granted,
I took having clothes for granted,
I took having something to eat for granted,
I took leisure time for granted,
I took use of the family car for granted,
I took an allowance for granted.
I expected all these things to be handed to me just because I am me,
Having no idea that these were really love gifts from a parent who was
sacrificing for me to have these things.
You don’t appreciate what you take for granted,
What you don’t appreciate you are not thankful for,
Rather you feel entitled to it.
Our physical well being, we often take for granted.
The people that God has given to love us we take for granted.
Our opportunities we take for granted.
We think that tomorrow will be the same as yesterday so we
take the day for granted.
Amy Grant sings the song Big Yellow Taxi and the chorus is
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone
Friends we don’t take stock of how good we have it until the good is gone and
realize what has been taken away.
Taking things for granted blocks thanksgiving.
Psalms 103:2-5 (NIV)
Praise the
LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his
benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your
diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns
you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so
that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
When we think we are entitled, there’s no thanksgiving
When we take things for granted, there’s not thanksgiving
Finally when we think that we have earned what we have,
There’s no thanksgiving.
I’m never thankful for the things I think are owed to me.
When you’ve worked your 40-50 hours in a week and get paid,
Are you thankful—no,
You’re getting what’s yours,
You traded your labor for money,
It’s a transaction.
It’s the other side of entitlement,
You get what you work for.
There is a price to be paid for success and you have been paying it.
You are building the good life and things are going that way.
You’ve taken advantage of the tremendous opportunities living in America
has to offer and you’re providing for yourself, maybe a family,
making a difference for others,
and enjoying the fruit of your labor.
There is a sense of satisfaction in what you have accomplished.
But is there a sense of thanksgiving.
It doesn’t feel quite right to give myself thanks for all that I’ve done.
And you’re right,
The third reframe is to realize everything comes from God.
Deuteronomy 8:17-20 (MSG)
If you start
thinking to yourselves, "I did all this. And all by myself. I'm rich. It's all
mine!"—
18 well,
think again. Remember that God, your God, gave you the strength to produce all
this wealth so as to confirm the covenant that he promised to your ancestors—as
it is today.
19 If
you forget, forget God, your God, and start taking up with other gods, serving
and worshiping them, I'm on record right now as giving you firm warning: that
will be the end of you; I mean it—destruction.
20 You'll
go to your doom—
When we fail to realize that everything we are,
Everything we are capable of doing,
Everything we own,
Is a gift from God,
We think we did it all by ourselves,
And that blocks giving thanks.
IF the veil that separates this physical world from the spiritual could be lifted,
And you could clearly see the truth of the scripture:
Acts 17:28 (NIV)
'For in him we
live and move and have
our being.'
You would see how much God has done for you and is doing for you now.
You draw breathe at God’s good pleasure.
Daniel, of Daniel and the Lions Den, was called into the courts of King Belshazzar,
To decipher the legendary “hand writing on the wall.”
Before Daniel reads he tells the king
Daniel 5:23 (NIV)
But you did
not honor the God who
holds in his hand your life and all your ways.
You thought you did it all on your own,
You failed to acknowledge that your life and your ways, your achievements,
You victory, your success, your prosperity came from the hand of
God.
Daniel then goes on to tell the King,
Because you failed to recognize who is the one
blessing your life, bad times are coming.
When we think we are entitled, there’s no giving thanks
When we take things for granted, there’s no giving thanks
Finally when we think that we have earned what we have,
There’s no giving thanks.
I want to think about life, my life, not in accordance with the ways of the world.
But in accordance with the ways of God.
I want to be convinced that I am not entitled,
No one owes me anything,
Instead I’m the one who owes a continuing debt of love.
I want to be convinced that who I am, what I have, the people I know,
the strength in my body, the clarity of thought is all a precious
gift from God and not to be taken for granted.
I want to be convinced that it has been, is now, and will be God’s
grace and love that empowers me to do all the things that I do,
to earn the money I earn, to provide for my family.
I want that because this thanksgiving around the family feast I need to be able to
express heart felt thanks for God’s great blessings in my life.
Maybe you feel that your giving thanks at thanksgiving is a little lame.
Maybe you’re hard pressed to express your appreciation for the gift of the
life that you have.
Maybe your praying “Please don’t anyone ask that corny
question: What are you thankful for?”
Maybe your working on an answer even now so you will look all spiritual to
those who hear your response.
If that’s what you want, then God will let you live with a sense of entitlement.
But if you long for genuine thanksgiving because you have taken stock of
your life and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has so richly
blessed you,
then maybe with me you will pray that God will help us reframe our
thinking and open our eyes so that we can pour out praise and
thanksgiving for the great things He has done.
Here’s the reframe for those of us who can’t think of anything to be thankful for--
Nobody owes you anything
Don’t take things, your current state of being or the people in your life for granted
Recognize that all that you have and all that you are is a gift from God.
It’s my prayer for you that this Thanksgiving,
God will open your eyes and let you see how much He has blessed your life.
Ask God to open your heart so that sincere thanksgiving pours out of
the depths of your being.